"A Performance Review" for Coldair and Bear Lincoln 3/27/14@Hotel Utah


Round 2, coming for you, the reader/avid music fan you are! Folks thanks to the "smashing success" of the first "a.P.r." we are going to keep the proverbial ball rolling...

Bear Lincoln

This review takes us to the wonderful and classic setting of The Hotel Utah. There certainly is something special about this place, and if you've never been because its "way out there, man" YOU, my friend, are missing out. Hotel Utah is an old place. So old they have a nice balcony that hangs practically over the stage and lets you feel like you've been taken back to a time where exceptional performance was the norm. It's a perfect setting for ANY night of music so when I found out that my fellow Balanced Breakfast cohort Ben, from Bear Lincoln, was throwing it down, down-town, at the ol' HU (peeps are still abbreviating everything these days right?) I had to be there.

(Well that AND the fact that if I tell a band ima see their show and  wind up not going, I HAVE to go see the next one regardless of other previous obligations. Oh...ANNNNNNNDDDDDDD...since I'm already using this "voice" lets get to the full disclosure for this article {in case the beginning didn't spell it out clearly} I know a member of Bear Lincoln and that's why I initially went to the show...still with me??? GOOD, let us continue!)

The thing I enjoy most about the Balanced Breakfast crew is the smorgasbord of musicians. It's a Thursday morning where all are welcomed (if you can wake up and be ready to shoot the shit @8am) With an "all you can eat buffet", as it were, of musical styles/genres. Everyone that puts in the effort to get out of bed on Thursday mornings to meet at 8am are genuinely pleasant, which makes it A LOT easier to persuade myself to go out on a limb and try a "new cup of musical tea".

(Yep, I'm  on a food pun...ROLL get it???? Hahaha thank you comedy rule of 3, you...RULE!)  (This guy over here, "hamming" it up, what a DB........"but", in the words of OG Kevin Gill, "I digress". This review calls for less sizzle and more steak, lets do it to it!)

Opening Act...Coldair


When I'm going to a show of a band I've never heard before (or heard of) I don't bother checking out the recorded stuff. Shure, (SM57) you can check out music online and hear how great something was produced. You can watch a wacky video that "really shows just how vibrant an artist is".  Though the way I see it, it is the PERFORMANCE of music live that lets me know without a shadow-of-a-doubt weather or not an act is worth their weight in press release hyperbole and accolades.

These days literally A N Y B O D Y can cheat with software to make A N Y T H I N G sound good. Live, you can't cheat...much ;

All that being said, I had NO idea what I was getting into with this show.

Coldair is a one-man-band and from right there I was on his side. It takes some serious grapefruits to get on a stage SOLO, BY YOURSELF, ALONE, and open yourself up to the world through your art. I have much admiration for those who can do it. As comfortable as I may be on stage I'm scared straight without someone else on stage with me. This isn't to say that everyone who plays solo can pull it off. We've all seen people who's hearts are into what they are performing, but nails on a chalkboard would be more welcomed.  The bottom line here is this...

...Coldair can pull off a one person show

With a keyboard, a computer that took care of drum duty, and a guitar, Coldair (who I hear is originally from Warsaw) makes some sexy flippin' music. I can't say I usually listen to that kind of jam either, but sweet jesus jones Coldair made it work. He reminded me of a  mixture of James Blake ambiance, Elliot Smith earnesty, and I'm racking my brian thinking of a voice I can compare his to, but then, theres really no use in comparing his voice to anyone. That is Coldair's secret weapon. Yes, he multitasked wonderfully. Between timing drum loops/keyboard samples/guitar playing you can see the musical talent (his charming demeanor on stage didn't hurt anything), but THAT VOICE, dear lord, IS BUTTER.

Ladies, Gentlemen and those InBetweeners, coming from someone who loves shrieking yelling and broken vocals, I can tell you even plants would turn away from the sun to  find out where this source of light is coming from; and it is most certainly is coming from Coldair.

 And now for the Performance Review rating system! in which I don't even know the categories until I write them...

First we have the Let's go to Bed (do doo-doo do, duh doo-doo do) rating. I'll give Coldair 4 Fresh Sets of Sheets because if you had this playing in the bedroom, you'd need at least that many new sets.

Next up is the  Musicality category. Coldair initially earned 6 out of 10 treble clefs because of my personal bias towards music... HOWEVER , adjusting on a curve to compensate for my bias,  the official rating is an 8 out of 10

 finally, I give Coldair an honorary Linda Richmond Coffee Talk Award, because seriously"Oh myGAWD that voice is BUTTAH)

Act II...Bear Lincoln...

(the band that freed the black bears)

Bear Lincoln

During the course of Bear Lincoln's set I took over 2 pages of notes. All details jotted down were to help describe the frenzy that is the Bear Lincoln performance. I wanted to say the funky/jazzy/dancy/cabaret-ness of the music was really helped out by  each musician having their own style of personal flair. It was almost like a 3 ring circus in so much as you never knew where to look because you knew you were missing out on something else.... and in the end it doesn't even matter...               (Yep, you got LinkinParked, boosh!)

...because If you were looking at the keyboardist dancing like a smooth operator PLAYING A F'N FURNACE VENT LIKE A WASHBOARD, you would be missing out on the drummer playing his snare drum without a stick but with his hand whilst holding an egg shaker. And if you were watching that,  you were missing the guitarist playing the oboe in a fez, or the bassist  grooving and moving and shaking a tambourine.

and remember, this all goes back to NONE of this mattered. That while EVERY member of the band had much, much more then purely music to offer, and that you had a helluva Fun, ENTERTAINING performance to watch, that the MUSIC made it difficult to watch any of it. This isn't bad at all by the by, this is fantastic!

Because folks of San Francisco I swear, as the mermaid that sits atop the stage of Hotel Utah as my witness, that the MUSIC MADE PEOPLE DANCE! Yep, even in SF, Bear Lincoln's music got the audience dancing so much that I don't know they (the attendees) realized all the antics that were going on between the members. You know how good Bear Lincoln is? So good that despite having a live show that you shouldn't miss SEEING, that the music is so good you dance too hard to notice half of the act. #THISISENTERTAINMENT...

...SO, now let us move to rating section of the performance.

Starting things off  we have the Cherry Poppin' Daddies category. Bear Lincoln is awarded 10 out of 10 popped cherrys

Next we have the sometimes controversial LadyGagaGetsPukedOnWeCallitArt category. Bear Lincoln gets 19.6 out of 10.3 Air Sickness Bags

Finally I give Bear Lincoln the first ever Cadet Edac "official" Worth Every Penny Award. Not that it necessarily holds much swayt to it (yet) but I can fully assure you (sparing an off night) that any time you go to a Bear Lincoln show with even only a mediocre Positive Mental Attitude, you will have a blast and it will indeed be worth every penny you have to spend to see them.

In Closing I'd like to say...that while this project is still new, and I'm just getting out and about discovering more about this "dead" music scene, that there is SO much great music out there if YOU decide to open yourself up to it. Really at the end of the day, you are just as important of part of a show as the band you choose to spend hard-earned money to see. If you let go of the idea "I'm this way, I like this type of thing and anything else sucks", you really can take full advantage of this wonderful place we're fortunate enough to live in as there are wonderful bands who are working to make it even better. Thank you Bear Lincoln, thank you Coldair, and thank YOU for reading this.